The Nate Diaz Diaries
by Ififall
Summary: Nate Diaz Fanfiction/Nate Diaz's views on The UFC, UFC Champs and His Brother.


**_A/N:_** Strong Language. Adult scenes.

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**_A/N: _**In this Story, Chris Weidman is **_Single_**.

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**_A/N:_** Told From Nate Diaz's POV.

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So, Diaz VS Silva was announced in late July.

My Brother, Nick Diaz, was facing Titanium leg Middle-Weight, Anderson Silva.

I don't wanna sound Faggy about it. But the second it was announced, I felt Summer slipping away from me.

* * *

_**Yeah,**_ that does sound Faggy, but that's how I felt. You know? Me and Nick were hanging out together every fucking day. Now Nick had signed a new UFC contract. The Fun time was over.

So Nick goes to the Gas station. I'm listening to Reporter Ass-holes talk about Diaz VS Silva on the radio. I lean my arm out of the car. The sun's shining. I'm moving my arm up and down.

* * *

I gotta tan evenly. you know. I don't wanna look like some half baked Ginger bread man. So I'm twisting my arm and my finger taps against some guy's leg.

I'm gonna lean out of the car door to tell this guy that I ain't no fag. When the guy looks at me. I see him and...time fucking stops.

It's Chris Weidman. Fucking Chris weidman. My mouth goes dry and I can't speak. See, there's like **_Three Main_ **facts that you gotta know about Chris Weidman.

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**_One:_** Chris is the current UFC Middleweight Champion.

**_Two:_** He beat Anderson Silva, **_Twice_**.

**_Three:_** Chris Weidman is one of the Hottest guys in the UFC.

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I've always thought that. The only reason that I haven't really talked to him, is because I didn't wanna be seen as a fag. You know, like I'm just dick riding Weidman Cause he has the belt now.

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So I Nod at him and Chris Weidman bends his Hot, Sexy, Ass, down into Nick's car window.

"Hey Nate, I was about to give you a Talking to" Chris says. He smiles and I'm like stuttering and shit.

* * *

"H...Hey Chris" I say.

"So you going to your Brother's Press conference?" Chris asked. Now I don't plan on going. I've got Sponsor shit. But if Chris is there it gives me an excuse to get off of my ass. I shake my head.

"Really? I'm going, it's fun with more people there" Chris said.

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"I might show" I said. So I show up. There are loads of people there. I'm regretting it already you know. My Trousers are new, and they're chaffing. I'm realising that I wore them for Chris Weidman, a dude that hadn't even showed up.

So I grab a bottled water. I open it up and start gulping. Then Miesha Tate the UFC Bantamweight Champ walks over to me.

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Her Belt is almost as big as she is. So we're just talking about the normal shit. Like Training and who was really to blame for the Jones thing. And why the fuck Cormier was throwing his shoes around.

She's laughing about it. And Miesha's got the most awesome smile in the UFC. She looking at me to make a quick joke. But I can't. Cause I need to go to the toilet.

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These trousers are way to fucking tight. So I go to the bathroom. I undo them. I do my shit. Not literally. I don't want to stink the place out. So I sit on the toilet and try to think of things to say to Chris, if he's around.

Do I talk about Anderson Silva? Do I ask about his Training, or do I just talk about _**My**_ training. But then Chris is gonna want to talk about the UFC.

And I don't wanna go there...

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I stand up. I wipe myself and I hear someone come in. I'm in the middle of zipping up when someone bangs the side of my cubicle. I get stuck. It fucking hurts and to make matters worse the guy next door pokes his head up.

Only it's not some guy, it's Chris Weidman.

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"Nate! You okay in there?" Chris shouts.

"_**Yeeeaah**_" I squeak as I try to tug the zip away from my dick. But I'm making this worse. Cause now I'm stinging.

"Look If you need help...I can come over" Chris says.

"Nah I'm good" say. It takes me over Thirty seconds to realise that he's watching me.

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"Nate open up!" Chris shouts.

"I'm good Okay!" I shout back.

"I'm coming over" Chris said. He actually leans over the door. To save him the hassle. I open the door.

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"Turn...look Nate...it's happens to all of us" Chris says, coming into my Toilet.

"That's bullshit Chris" I said. I'm cupping my hands over my dick. But Chris can't get to the zip.

"Nate...come on" Chris says nervously.

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"No...Nah...no way" I'm saying.

"We're both adult's right? You trust me...right ?" Chris asked. And I know that Chris is thinking the wrong thing. Like, he's thinking that I'm pissed because he's gonna see my dick, you know?

I'm not pissed about what he's about to do. I'm annoyed as hell about **_where_ **we're about to do it. If Chris Weidman's gonna accidently touch me up. I'd rather it was in a Hotel room with clap on lights...you know?

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Not in some public Bathroom, that stinks of shit.

After some coaxing I take my hands away. I try to lift my dick up. But the zip's got it tight. Chris bends down.

In an ideal world, Chris Weidman would be blowing me right now, but I have to settle for Painful Zip Action.

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Chris tugs a few times and sets me loose.

"Fuck!" I say as the zip screeches near my balls. I quickly turn away and check myself. Yep. Everything's still there. Maybe Chris can make sure they're in working order for me.

"Thanks Chris...you didn't have to" I say.

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"No problem" Chris says. He begins to walk about and I have to say something to make him stay.

"I feel like a fucking retard" I say.

"Why? We've all been there. I got my zip caught in First Grade" Chris tells me.

* * *

"Stop lying" I say.

"I did! Nate I swear. I couldn't get it off. My Principal came. Miss Zimmerman came. No-one could do it. So the ambulance got called. It was soooo fucking embarrassing" Chris said leaning against My Toilet door.

"Really?" I asked.

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"Yeah. To make it worse, I have older Brothers. And they told everyone that the zipper cut my penis off. It wasn't good Nate. When I was little I had a Lazy eye. So I had a **_Lazy Eye_** and **_no_** Penis" Chris said.

"No shit. You had a Lazy Eye?" I asked Chris looking up at him.

"Yeah can you tell?" Chris asked. He's looking down at me, getting closer to me. This would be the perfect time to try to make a move, but I chicken out.

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"So you've got no Lazy eye. I take it...you've still got no dick" I said.

"Umm...I wouldn't say that" Chris said. I ran my ran down his pants. I'm looking at his face. Trying to see if he's freaking out already but he's not.

**_ Yeah,_ **this is a Toilet, and **_Yeah_** this is the first time we've spoken one-on-one. But this is only a little fun right?

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It's not like I'm gonna fucking marry Chris Weidman...You know?

So I think "Fuck it" Before I know it, Chris is taking his trousers off. I stroke his dick, and I run my hand down his thighs. I jerk Chris off. I think about giving him **_just_** a Hand-Job.

Then his dick brushes against my lips. I take Chris' dick in my fist, then I put it in me. I hold it firmly and confidently. I'm hoping Chris sees the Confidence, anyway.

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I don't want Chris Weidman to think that I'm some _no show_. That I'm some Joe Blow, that can't even **_Blow._** I rub him with My **_Tongue_**.

I'm Trying to show off and make him blow up really fast. While I'm blowing him, I think about Guys in the UFC that Chris might have hooked up with before me...

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**_GSP- _**could be a possibility.

**_Anderson Silva_**- Could have been a pity-fuck

**_T.J Dillashaw- _**if he liked the fucking Boring, Apple Pie, All American Boy Types.

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But really, Chris Weidman could have anyone in the UFC. That's why I'm going faster. But nothing's really happening. It was like GSP and my Brother. I mean they ain't fucking or nothing like that...

But Georges was hitting Nick with those Pity-pat punches. And Nick didn't even feel them. But the judges made Nick lose because of those.

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Now I can feel Chris getting harder, but nothing else is happening. Moments later Chris is tapping the back of my head. I get off of him.

"Nate I've...I've gotta go" Chris says pulling his Trousers up.

"Well...ummm you know...maybe I can...**_Call_ **you or something?" I say, getting up.

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"I umm...gave my I-Phone to Matt Serra. So...I'll see you Nate" Chris said. He practically runs out of the Bathroom. I clean myself up, walk out and find my Brother Nick.

Then I get in the front row while Nick is up there with the UFC Champions talking about his fight with Silva.

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"Fallon Fox for Tran-Sport . com. So Nick, are you excited to face someone like Anderson?" Fallon asked.

"Nah. Would you be?" My Brother says. Fans laugh. And I'm about to smile when I realise that Chris and Matt Serra are sitting together.

They're leaning close to each other...Using Two **_Separate, Different_** I-phones...


End file.
